Does being a divorced parent really give you more freedom?

Many people think that when they get a divorce, life suddenly becomes easier and grants more freedom. It’s not hard to see why either considering the colloquialisms we associate with marriage such as “the old ball and chain” and “being tied down.” But does getting a divorce really provide you with more freedoms than when you were married?

If you’re just getting out of a marriage without kids, the question above might be answered with a yes. But if you’ve just become a single parent, you might have a very different answer for this question. Just ask “The Big Bang Theory” star Mayim Bialik who recently spoke out about this topic on her blog. As the actress and mom of two explained, divorce is sad and painful for children, which doesn’t necessarily make things any easier or give you any more freedoms.

For those who may not have read the actress’ blog, Bialik wrote about what it’s like to be a single parent recently in response to a another blog post written by a married mother who was jealous of her divorced friend’s freedom. But while jealousy might be a common reaction for some people, Bialik points out that the grass is not always greener on the other side. She used her own life as an example, pointing out that after her November 2012 separation she wished she had a partner nearby to comfort one of the children while the other was crying or and wished that she could read a bedtime story about a happy, two parent family without cringing.

The truth of the matter is, as many experts will agree, even after a divorce a parent never stops being a parent. As many single parents know, certain adaptations need to be made, especially for activities that usually require two parents to undertake. It may not be as easy for single parents to simply ask their spouse to watch the children while they go out and do something either. This means that they not only have less freedom, but it may make them feel frustrated by the situation as well.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Mayim Bialik Offers Real Talk On What Divorced Parenting Is Like,” Dec. 30, 2013